Sacrifice

During winter holidays (July), my family used to visit my maternal grandparents on their farm in the Kalahari. It was a special place for me. There were many strange and magical things for me to explore on the farm. One of which was a hill where General Jan Smuts was caught during the Anglo Boer War. The strange thing about the "koppie" (hill) was that it was covered with black and red rock melted together as if by some ancient fire. At night it was a huge treat for us to drive up in the freezing cold and suddenly on the hilltop found it was warm. We speculated for many hours what could be the strange magic there. A dragon asleep perhaps?

There also grew abundantly bushes of baboon berries. Deliciously sweet and sour berries with a crusty skin. My other favourite Kudu cucumber.

Kudu Cucumber

There was no electricity or running water on the farm, so it was like entering another time span when you arrived there. Early in the morning, when it was still dark I would get up and go to the kitchen, where the women were already busy with the day's preparations A warm welcoming heat greeted me from the old wood-burning Argus stove and I used to sit quietly in a corner drinking my steaming rooibos tea, observing. Although the women were animatedly talking and jesting with a feeling of camaraderie, young as I was, I could detect a shared feeling of sadness among them and I wondered…

Central to most religions is this concept of sacrifice. Sacrifice your own happiness for the good of all. Martyrdom has been revered as a holy achievement in most religions. In relationships and parenting the same message has been given. If we rebel against it and live only a hedonistic life, we will eventually be consumed by our subconscious guilt. Or at least find our lives hollow and devoid of meaning. As someone once said: "What you oppose you become." If you don't believe me just have a look at zealots. So many people fall into that trap. But anyway do not believe anything I say, try it out for yourself and see.

Our world today is torn between the two concepts. Deep in our hearts we all want to be happy, we also want happiness for others for it is hard to be happy when only sorrow surrounds us. You know the difference between walking into a room where there is happiness and laughter to that of walking into a room where there is mourning and tears of sorrow. Whether we like it or not we effect each other.

Once I came across an original copy of an old book (1897) called " The Five Talents Of Woman " by, as the cover said: " the author of 'How To Be Happy Though Married'" and "Manners Makyth the Man" - T. Fisher Unwin. It is the kind of book that the Feminists would burn in horror. But I strive to keep an open mind and won't reject anything without checking it out for myself first. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find many truths in it. What are the five talents of a woman according to the book? I will go into that another time. In it I found something that really opened my eyes to the whole aspect of sacrifice and its repercussions:

 "Teach the children to respect you. Perhaps you smile at this. Love seems so far above and beyond respect! The children love you with all their hearts. Granted. But for all this, neglect not to cultivate respect in them. A devoted mother is willing to forego comfort for the sake of her loved ones. Sleepless nights and aching limbs must sometimes be; but there is another kind of self-denial for mothers. When Marion has devoured her own portion of the choice fruit or confection, and her baby fingers stretch towards mamma's plate, deny yourself the pleasure of giving her the whole or a portion of what belongs to you…Do not say, anything will do for me."

And we wonder why the youth have no respect? "Suffering and sacrifice are the gifts with which the ego would 'bless' all unions. And those who are united at its altar accept suffering and sacrifice as the price of union… Learn now that sacrifice of any kind is nothing but a limitation imposed on giving. Your confusion of sacrifice and love is so profound that you cannot conceive of love without sacrifice. For total love would demand total sacrifice. " The Course In Miracles

If you sacrifice yourself, become a doormat in your sacrifice, what will there be left to love? What can there be left of yourself to give? If you have sacrificed all of yourself how can you grow and keep on contributing? Eventually the sacrifice will also lead to resentment and depression. Having said that, however I must mention Ma'at *, the ancient Egyptian concept of balance. There is a time to give and there is a time to take. If you search inside yourself you will know when the time is.

Ma'at - impersonates Justice and Truth. All Feminine Neters (Principles - Archetypes) are aspects of the great divine Mother, but Ma'at is at the same time her source and fulfilment. "Ceaselessly emanating from the divine Ra of whom she is at the same time herself the nourishment, she is the mediator and the vehicle of the essence of Ra. She is the Presence of the beginning and the end, in all times and all worlds, "she is Cosmic Consciousness, Universal Ideation, and Essential Wisdom". (Remarkably like the Gnostic concept of Sophia) In the world of men she is the consciousness of 'discerning' and consequently the Ma'at of Judgement. - Isha Schwaller de Lubicz

tags: mothers  spritual  sacrifice  maat  children