Disillusionment - The Dream Eater

No other monster has slain more valiant questers than disillusionment. No matter what the aim of your quest, if you are ever going to reach your goal you have to face this one. I remember with absolute clarity my first encounter with disillusionment, the place, what I was leaning against, what was in the immediate environment, everything. I was shocked into brilliant clarity.

Where I grew up there weren't any girls my age. So my friends were the local boys. One had an elder sister who would sometimes come and talk to me. One day she asked me;" You do not believe in Father Christmas anymore do you?" "Yes" I said, "One year Father Christmas had pants and shoes on that I knew belonged my father', and then I realised that there was no Father Christmas." "Yes " she said, " Then you also know that there are no Easter Bunnies and no Tooth Mouse…" I promptly burst out in tears. "Is there really no Tooth Mouse…

I really believed there was a Tooth Mouse because one day the mouse did not come in the night and I ran to my parents room to tell them. They just smiled and said maybe the mouse was late. At that moment the cat jumped from the window sill and my parents said that must be the mouse now. I raced back to my room and there were silver pieces shinning in my slipper. I really believed." She apologised to me and said she did not know, but still I was devastated. Is there no magic in this world; is everything just what it seems to be? I withdrew for a long time to deal with that one.

I deal with disillusionment by withdrawing for a while to my "cave" to contemplate things. If I lived another time another place I would have been a hermit living in a cave somewhere. Though, on second thoughts my curiosity would have drawn me out. Anyway since then I had to face the Dream Eater on many more occasions.

There is no way that you can avoid disillusionment if you want to find the truth. For disillusionment clears away the fog of illusions. It stops you dead in your tracks and forces you to face the truth. It is vital for the process of maturation. Maturing as a person, maturing in physical goals, maturing in spiritual aspirations and not least in relationships. What one has to do is not to take it personally. This is however much easier said than done. For it is not easy, not to take it personally when you are knocked flat. You were going so well, confident in your progress when wham, the wind is knocked right of your sails. At this point it is very easy just to give up completely.

You often see this happening when people go on a self-help course. First they are all fired up from the inspirational message but as time goes by reality sets in. They give up and try something else. It is not difficult to see this happening in relationships. What do you do when the honeymoon is over? In my country the initial euphoria of our union as a people was replaced with a general depression. Things did not meet our expectations. There was increasing violent crime, unemployment soared, the social conditions of the poorest of poor did not improve immediately and many felt they were worse off than before Apartheid ended. Many emigrated fearing for their children's future. However what was happening was a period of transition where everyone had to redefine their roles and make adjustments accordingly. This does not happen overnight and many disappointments and loses were experienced. Many even felt there was more of a division than before, but most of those that remained did so for the love of the country and its people and really wanted the dream of a Rainbow Nation to come true.

 Now 10 years since our democracy was declared we have all matured (almost all) and are more realistic about our expectations. Many are even returning. We still passionately believe in our dream, believe that great things will come from this union, but we know that it takes hard work to make a dream come true and that you have to be prepared to give up some things. We are now proud to be South African. Of course you might feel that what you have to give up is too high a price to pay but that only you can answer. When next you encounter the Dream Eater, gracefully pick yourself up from the ground, wipe the dust from yourself and ask yourself; " Do I still believe this dream is possible. Is it worth the price I have to pay? " Remember that nothing worthwhile comes cheap, otherwise you would not put a high value on it would you?